It is currently 12:21 am here in sunny San Diego and I originally was going to write an inspiring instagram caption but suddenly my caption turned into paragraphs so I decided that perhaps a blog post would be more appropriate.
Here is what I started out saying:
“One day all the love you give away, will come back and be there to stay”
Love is such a mysterious amazing thing. I think the best way to look at it is that it is infinite. You can never give or receive to much. A very good friend of mine reminded me today that if you give love, with pure intentions, you will receive love.
Relationships are what you put into it.
And now I shall continue my thoughts:
As some of you may know I had been in a relationship for about 2 and a half years. Then after a lot of thinking I ended this relationship. My reasoning was I thought I deserved more, I needed to find myself, and overall I was unhappy. What I didn’t realize was that it was not the relationship that was making me feel this way. I look back now with a level head and a full heart.
A lot was wrong, I put my identity in him, and with that I expected a lot of him. It was all a mental game I kept playing with myself and I was losing. I thought if I put my whole everything, all of my time and energy into being his girlfriend everything would be perfect. I put so much pressure on the both of us to constantly be at each other’s side and fulfill each other’s every single need and in this obsession I forgot something. That we are in fact two separate individuals. I kept looking at it as if we were one and that our only goal should be to better our relationship. At first this doesn’t seem like such a bad thing but when you take a step back this is why the relationship didn’t work.
Now I see things differently. I had some time to myself. I did a lot of thinking and soul searching. I realized I still wanted him by my side weather it be a best fiend or a boyfriend but I knew things needed to change. I now look at relationships as a give and take. Instead of being one person, it is two people working as a team. Working to help bring out the best in each other. I learned that you don’t give to better the relationship but to better the other person and help them achieve their hopes and dreams. I learned that it is okay to want different things at different times. I learned that it’s important to support your partner’s current and future endeavors. I learned that you give yourself to better the other person, and take their efforts to better yourself.
It is about finding someone you want to have by your side but it is also finding someone that you would do anything for. Someone who you want to see smile, and succeed, and make their dreams come true. When you find this, and when you give away this type of love, that is when all that love you give away, will find its way back to you.
I know I’m young, I know I’m still learning but I thought I would share what I’ve learned so far with all of you.