Hey Saltee People,
I want to start this off by saying we are all going through this global pandemic BUT, we are all having different reactions, experiences and emotions. We are not alone, our feelings are all valid, and we all need to practice kindness and grace during this time. I want to share my personal experiences and emotions in hopes of someone reading this and feeling less alone. I know there is A LOT happening in the world right now. I know there are larger issues, but like I said, this post is about my life and what I have been going through personally. Hopefully we will all come out of this experience stronger then we were before.
To be blunt and upfront, I have officially been furloughed for a week now. I had been working from home for almost three weeks and got the call last week that the company I work for had to make some difficult decisions, and unfortunately that was one of them. They are hoping to bring everyone back when this is over but who knows? This has left me feeling a few different emotions. I have felt sad and frustrated, uneasy and scared but also have felt determined and confident. None of these emotions have been constant, more so coming and going as expected.
With this past week being the first week I have not been employed literally since I was 15, I have began to feel useless. I can only tidy up the bedroom and reorganize drawers so many times. I feel like I’m not contributing to my family, to our savings account and I feel helpless. This is the reality. Monday and yesterday I didn’t do anything, didn’t make the bed, didn’t check emails, and although it seems like an easy thing to do, I am left feeling like I wasted two full days. I’m really trying to stay motivated and use this as an opportunity to work on the blog, and content creation and really dive in and try to get creative but mentally it’s just a hard place to get to. I’ve found myself sleeping in later then I normally would, not taking care of myself and just kind of letting smaller things slip through the cracks.
Along with being newly unemployed, as I am sure a lot of you know that I am pregnant. Fortunately my doctors and nurses have been SO amazing. Sharp is doing such a good job at keeping their patients informed and up to date on information and what is happening in their facilities. I am not due until July so I am praying that this all is over by then. But really who knows at this point. I am not sure if I’ll be able to have a baby shower. Not entirely sure how I will shop for and furnish the baby’s nursery. Not sure how this will affect the coming months up to my due date. It’s a lot to think about and I am trying not to get anxious but if you know me, you know I am an over thinker, over planner and over analyzer.
We all have decisions to make at a time like this. I truly believe everything happens for a reason. God would not put obstacles in our life that we could not handle. Overall I am choosing to make this situation one that I can come out of better then before. I choose to keep myself productive and continue to try and better myself, my family and my future. It isn’t going to be easy, and some days will be more difficult then others but, I am up for the challenge.
I hope you all are staying healthy, happy and motivated.